My Obsession with Celebrity- Due to lack of real life

So I was listening to the radio the other day and... hmm I forgot what interested me- Or maybe it was everything. I am semi obsessed with celbrity gossip. I know, gossip is wrong. I try to avoid it- I rarely pay for it ( well I had a half a year of Us Weekly subscriptions bequethed to me once) and I am both repulsed and bored by my banal interest.

But sometimes when the 11 pm Office is over and TMZ comes on I watch it. TMZ is the worst too! Their hounding of celbrities is out of control. Why why why do I do it?

THEN - and this is worse- I will go on Perez Hilton and TMZ online and check out who has to say what... Sometimes I google to see if any of this is REAL news on the Times or Post etc...but I feel very very bad. I believe this obsession has only gotten worse as my real life has gotten more and more boring .

When I had a job, at least I had a career, though I had no love life, no travel, no excitement or plans ... Now with no job it is like - Why not live vicariously through others... The problem is that these are other people's lives who have not invited me in. Now at the movies, sure you can imagine your own adventure or in a book but watching or reading TMZ seems very wrong - I am ashamed of myself.

Of course if I go cold turkey, it is like fast food, the less you have of it the less you crave. So for December I am going on a celebrity free fast. I will not pay attention, will change the channel and will not go to websites that specialize in celebrity . Shut up Perez... I don't want to hear about the new car you need from the advertising... I got my own worries...

Job Huntin'

So- I have been looking for work with a new focus as of late. I was looking and culling through endless ads in the beginning and then gradually every week would delude myself with a new "passion".
On week I am sure I will be a therapist /counselor and go back to school for that. Then I decide I am going to go get my PhD in International Studies/Political Science/Asian Area studies (I have an MA in International Politics- so at least that makes sense) - But realize I would still have to be in school for 4 years and no definite job. Then a friend, J, told me about "Occupational Therapy" and I found out it pays a lot more and is an expanding field. It also would only require a year and a half or 2 years of school- but there is math involved- Math! I hate math...

Ugh- I just want to find a job in my chosen career path, which is:

Fighting for social justice, peace, human rights, harmony, truth, love ant the Weltburger (World citizen) Way! - Haha

Seriously- I want to do something where I use my talents of public speaking, writing, creativity and passion to help someone or a cause I believe in and I want to make a decent wage (say $35k in the Midwest or $45-50k on the East Coast) is that too much to ask I tell you. According to the Idealist.org job listings it is not-.

My main problem is my passion for new ideas, causes etc. I can't seem to find a niche. My rational is that it shouldn't matter if I worked in the past for living wages in Kentucky, the release of an American women in Peru, or the rights of workers to smokefree workplaces in Indiana- I can use the same passion and talents to help refugees, to promote human rights in South East Asia, or mobilize grassroots support for a Food Bank in New York.

Apparently the hiring managers at these places do not agree with me... Ugh- I have no idea what to do now. I have been unemployed since late July. They say insanity is continuing to do something that isn't working over and over- so clearly I have to change my approach- but how? I have no idea. Any tips, tidbits, bones or suggestions are more than appreciated...

So for now - adios!

and so it begins...

So, I'm back...
I have started this blog and hope to keep it up more than my past ones. I find myself unemployed for the second time in 5 years... a lot of things have happened since then and my 36th b-day is Friday so I am thinking positively. Trying to choose my path while at the same time just looking to find meaningful employment that pays the billz.

I have a few projects on the side like teaching ESL to non native speakers of English, working part time at a flu shot clinic, and selling my crafts. Well the last one really is making crafts and trying to sell them. I am specializing in small pouches and larger bags with cool prints at the moment. Also much of my stuff is made of re-purposed materials.

This blog will be about all aspects of my life for now but may change format...Bye now- later...